On Japanese Swords and Christianity

I’ve always had a fascination with other cultures.  I find people interesting, and to know me is to know I’m a curious guy, and I love meeting new people.  I will often times do research on things that I learn from others, because, well….. you just never know where something good can be found.

One of the cultures I have always been interested in is the Japanese.  Although there are many wonderful things to be found in their culture, it is their pursuit of mastery that has drawn my attention the most.

The Japanese like to make an art form out of many things.  Be it serving tea, making clothes, dancing, weapons, fighting, and even writing.

It is their total dedication to their art that just makes me go wow.

The Japanese believe that we are born knowing who we are and quickly forget it, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to define ourselves.  This is the pursuit of “The Way”.  There are many different paths to “The Way”.  Some spend it in practicing calligraphy.  Some in making weapons, some in the form of swords, archery, serving tea, and a whole host of other things.  There seems to be as many paths to “The Way” as their are people.

But each person who is dedicated to “The Way”, follow their path, with the intention of gaining mastery of it, with a dedication that is quite simply put, admirable.

We, as Christians, could learn a thing or two from this.  Seriously.

The way to salvation is much like “The Way” of the Japanese.  Both follow a path, both seek an end goal, both are fraught with perils and hardships along the way.

I’m said to admit that I think at times the Japanese are much better at staying on their paths that Christians.

Again, I think we could learn from this.

When a Japanese master takes on a student, he does things that the student often does  not understand, thinks are harsh, and there is often pain.  The master does this because he is seeking to break a lifetime of bad habits.  When you think the master is getting you to do something against your natural instincts, the master will simply say he is teaching you the correct way to do something.  The big difference is that a Japanese student will not question their master, where Christians seem to either ignore, or question everything that they wish in their pursuit of holy lives.

The biggest difference between the two, the Japanese way and the Christian, is that for the Japanese it is more a solitary journey with a guide, where in Christianity is is a total surrender to God.

The problems I see today facing the Christian world is the fact that so many denominations believe different things and are so judgmental towards each other on a personal level.

The Catholics believe it’s acceptable to drink some, while Pentecostals believe no drinking is acceptable.  Many denominations believe smoking is evil, while others don’t.  Some believe dancing if of the devil, while others dance in the spirit.  I could go on with this, but I won’t.

The simple fact is this.  There is only one way to heaven, just as the bible says, which is through Jesus Christ.  The greatest commandment is to Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and the second as like unto the first, treat your neighbor as yourself.

I believe that today’s Pastors should still seek to preach on what a Christian should and shouldn’t do.  But the judgments must stop.  It confuses people and it interferes with their walk with God.  Only God can change a person, their actions, and their heart.  Looking down on someone because of what your denomination believes is not the way to help guide them.  Not unless it is clearly in the bible.

To win souls to Christ, we must change our thinking as leaders.  We must remember that we are there for people, to help them, and to guide them.  Not to beat on them and judge them unmercifully.  We must lead a holy life as an example, and concentrate on what the bible SAYS to break a lifetime of bad habits.  Then we must let go and let God.  He knows more about that person than we ever will.

We must change our way of thinking.  We must plant the seeds of determination in the pursuit of salvation and holy living similar to they way the Japanese masters do it.  Just a thought……

~ Kev

The Old Timers – How did they do it?

A mystery was solved, a rather intriguing one if you ask me.  These type of mysteries always make me wonder.  How did the people of that time accomplish some of the things they were able to do?

The Country:  Canada.

The Place: Lunenburg, Nova Scotia

The Building: St. John’s Anglican Church

The church was built in 1754.  As you can imagine, the architecture of the church was absolutely beautiful. With the type of wood working that is usually found in very old buildings.  The church is the oldest Anglican church in Canada.  A lot of love went into this building.  Unfortunately, an arson decided to burn down the church on halloween 2001.  No one has been caught.  A lot of history was destroyed.

But the members of St. John’s decided to do something pretty remarkable.  They decided to rebuild the church.  Not just rebuild a new church.  No, they decided to rebuild the church, as it was before the fire, using what was left of the building after the fire, and existing wood that was salvageable. A costly task, estimated at 7 million Canadian dollars.  They managed it of course.

Using photographs, and excellent carpenters, they managed it.  But one task, given to a woman, brought out a mystery.

It had to do with stars that were painted on the ceiling over the alter.  The problem was that there were not a complete set of photographs for the woman to recreate the pattern of stars.  As she debated the problem, she followed a hunch.  She had a feeling that the star groupings were not something just randomly painted.  So, she contacted an astronomer.  He examined the photos that were available and found the constellation Perseus.  The problem was, the location of the constellation was wrong for the night sky in Lunenburg.

Acting on his own hunch, he used a computer program to show what the sky would have looked like on Christmas Eve, year 0, the celebrated birth of Jesus.  You guessed it, the stars matched.  The painted stars recreated the night sky of December 24th, year 0, in Lunenburg.

So how did someone in the 1800’s, when the stars were painted on the ceiling, recreate the night sky from that date?  What a feat!  I find it amazing.

Here are pictures of the church before the fire:

Here is a picture of the church after it burned, which gives you an idea of what they had to work with to reconstruct the church:

Here is a video of the star mystery:

Some of the information in the video is incorrect.  Such as the fact that the bible does not indicate that Jesus was born on December 25th, but it’s still interesting.

If you want more interesting facts on this historical landmark, go here.

Enjoy!

~ Kev

Happy Birthday Jesus

The wind of that morning was probably chilly.  Not the chill of winter, because it was spring.  The time of new things.  The chill air swept through a small town, a town of only about 30 houses, plus a few other buildings.

In what was probably a small cave, which was called a manger, was a young man and woman.  The woman was tired, having labored through the night after a long journey to this small humble town.  But though she was tired and weary, she was no doubt smiling with accomplishment and joy, the man, her husband, with pride and the awe that men get when women give birth.  They gazed at a small figure, wrapped and swaddled against the chill in the air.  They gazed on the very first and most important Christmas gift ever given.

Legend has it that at the moment the babe was born, every winged animal not in the air took flight across the entire planet.  Animals who had been sleeping or hiding suddenly leapt and ran.  Even the very bees took to the air, their buzzing wings sending a song of joy into the air.  It was as if the entire universe had just let out a giant breath it had been holding for far to long.

The town had no clue how they had been honored.  They had no clue what had happened.  They only knew that it was yet another day in a town purposely kept small, to avoid Roman attention.  The town was named Bethlehem and the man and woman were there due to Roman decree.  A census was to be taken.  So the man, Joseph had bundled up his pregnant wife Mary and took her to his town of lineage.

The town might not have realized what was laying there.  But someone did.  Three someones actually.  Three men from the East.  Wise men, men who knew things, men who studied things.  They had travelled far and long, following the direction of all things, a star, brightly lit.  A star so bright it could be seen during the day.  They travelled until they came upon the new parents, and the babe.

In the surrounding area, a group of Sheppard’s, sleepy from watching over their flock all night, came to alert, scared out of their minds.  For someone was suddenly there, someone who wasn’t human, so how could they not be scared?  But the one who appeared was not there to cause harm, but to deliver a message.

The message that the someone delivered fell on ears that weren’t quite sure yet what to think.  But the message was good.  It was so good that suddenly the someone started singing, and praising God, and a multitude of voices that could not be seen joined in, all singing praises to God.  For this day, the prophecy of a Savior had come to fruition.  Those sheppards were given instructions on how to find this gift from God.

So away they went, and found the manger, and the parents, and wise men, and a small babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes.

They gazed upon the babe.  With wonder.  With awe.  No doubt their bodies trembled, those sheppards and wise men.  For they were looking at something that was human, but not.  With the purpose of God shinning forth from Him.  Such a small innocent looking baby, shinning with heavenly light, a gift to the world.

If they had only known then what was to come, the purpose for which he was born, they would have rent their clothes and wept.  But that was for another day, years in the future.  For the moment, they basked in light of His purpose, His innocence that would never disappear, and Holiness He exuded.

There, surrounded by the Wise men, representing The Father, The Sheppards, representing The humble Son, and The Parents watching over their babe, representing the ever watchful Holy Ghost, was a most humble babe who would change the course of human destiny forever.

His name was to be Immanuel, meaning God with us.  And He was.  And God looked, and saw that it was good, as he had known it would be.

Jesus, the Christ, the Savior, was born.

All Hail the King of Kings.

Happy Birthday my Lord.

Religion and Judgment

Did you miss me?  I’m sure you did.  Sorry it’s been awhile, but I have been busy with work.  A lot of things going on there which hasn’t left me a lot of time to write.

But I’m here now, and there is something specific I want to write about.  It’s something that is a great concern with me and something I think poses one of the greatest dangers to the Christian Church today.

Out in the world, the world as Christians we are supposed to be separate from, people tend to have a certain attitude.  Apart from their, I’m going to do what I want, after all as long as I’m not hurting anyone, whats the big deal” attitude, they also tend to have a live and let live policy.

I was “in the world” for along time.  I have had friends who drank, a lot.  I have had friends who did drugs.  I have had friends who have cheated on the wives, stole, and a few other things that wouldn’t actually make the Lord happy.

But one thing I rarely, and I do mean very very rarely, ran into, was these friends condemning me for NOT doing the same as them.  My friends who did drugs might have offered, but when I said no, they shrugged their shoulders and said ok.  The same with drinking.  The same with stealing.  I’ve also never had a friend who cheated on his spouse get on me for not doing the same.

Like I said.  A whole different attitude.  Live and  let Live.  I’ll do my thing, you do yours.

This didn’t make things RIGHT.  It was just their attitude about life in general.

Now, let’s switch to the Christian church.  Once I became saved, and heavily involved in working for my Lord and Savior, I noticed something just a bit different in their attitude about life.

Before I go on, please understand that this is not directed at any specific church, or group of people.  I’ve been in several churches (more than 2 in membership) and I have visited a bunch of others and have friends who are members of ones I have never visited.  What I am about to write about is directed at the Christians I have come in contact with.  As a whole.

This attitude that the Christian’s I’m talking about seems to be fairly prevalent.  It’s judgment.

This is going to sound harsh, but I believe Christians have gotten to the point where they are more concerned with Judging others and their fellow Christians, more than carrying out His work, to the detriment of the body of Christ.

I’ve seen it happen to my fellow Christians, I’ve watched Christians do it, and I’ve experienced it myself.  It seems that Christians who know me are far more concerned in trying to find something wrong with me than trying to help those in need.

This is not Ok.

It worries me and bothers me a great deal.  As the body of Christ, why are we so concerned in judging each other, than the world?  I’m a Christian.  I believe in Christ and I believe in His word.  Although I’m not perfect, and I slip up from time to time, I try my best.  That is between God, and me.  Believe me, if Jesus can convince me to throw away my old life, and accept Him as my Lord, then show me things no one else has, make me feel things no one else has, I hardly think He would have a problem in correcting me.  And let me tell you, He has.  At times He has been gentle, and other times not so gentle.  There is nothing quite like a hard wake-up call from Him.

But I have friends who have a need, a need for Him.  Or a need to get back straight.  I sometimes hang with them in places that most Christians would look twice at.  Like a bar and grill, where it’s a combination restaurant and bar.  Just because I walk into such a place does not make me a sinner.  If you believe it does, you need to read your bible again.

Jesus did the same, and even chastised the Pharisees for judging Him for hanging out at a wild party.  Remember the tax collector?  Levi?  Levi invited Jesus to his house, and threw a party.  Of course the Pharisees followed so they could see what Jesus was up to.  They were appalled that Jesus would go to  this man’s house with his party, where there was sinning going on.

Jesus said to them (you can see it Mark 2:17) They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

People have need of what I have to offer.  Compassion, advice, a friend, a shoulder, and to hear that God loves them.  If Jesus can do it, and did it, so can I.  That’s what I have been called for.

So be wary of judging your fellow Christians.  Look to yourself, as I do, to purge all sin from you life, before looking at others.  Seek the Love that Christ had for everyone, Sinner and Believer both.  Stop judging and start saving.  Before we lose more people from our Churches.

~ Kev

God is in the details

I don’t know about you, but I love running into little interesting tidbits that when you explore them, they have a pretty big impact.  It can be smallest thing that you read, or see, that interests you, and due to your interest, you start to explore and find out some wonderful things.  Life is about learning right?  The day we stop learning is the day we are no longer on this earth.

It all started with an e-mail……

Yeah, you know, those e-mails that get passed around?  It came from my Dad and has a long history of being passed around.  That simple fact was enough to warm my heart, especially in this day in age.

The interesting thing is, just earlier this morning, for some odd reason, I came across the quote “God is in the details”.  It made me chuckle, because, well, I happen to believe it is true.

People who don’t believe are always asking, where is God?  They can’t see him, so they choose not to believe.  Of course, there is usually more to their choice of not believing than that, but you get where I am coming from I’m sure.  I say people chose not to believe and yes, that is exactly what I meant to say.  It’s a choice.  The same people can’t see the wind, but they believe in it.  Of course, their argument will be that you can see the effects of the wind, you can feel it on your skin, you know it’s there.

Well, in my own experience, the same is true for God.  I can see his effects and I can feel Him.  So I choose to believe.  Of course, another way of saying it would be that my mind is open enough to believe because like the wind, I know He is there by seeing His effects and feeling Him.  So for me, maybe it’s not a choice after all.  Maybe it would be better to say that people choose to ignore the evidence of God.

I said it started with an e-mail, and it did.  But I also said I came across this quote before the e-mail.  Confusing?  Don’t worry about it, just trust me here.  The e-mail lead BACK to the quote.

The quote, “God is in the details” was said by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe.  He was a German/American Architect who had a major role in shaping modern architecture.  Go to any downtown city and look at the tall buildings with their shiny windows, with little evidence of the building structure.  That was his idea of architecture.  It is interesting to note that he also has another famous quote attributed to him.  “Less is more”.

What makes this even more interesting, this quote, is that if it said in German, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe’s language, the quote would literally translated as “God dwells in the details”.

So let’s get to the point shall we?

This e-mail was a presentation, which of course was put forth with beautiful pictures and music.  But what it said was what made the biggest impact.  I will condense it appropriately.

What is the shortest chapter in the bible?

Psalm 117

What is the longest chapter in the bible?

Psalm 119

Which chapter marks the center of the bible?

Psalm 118

There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118

There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118

Add these numbers up and you get 1188 (594+594=1188)

What verse marks the exact center of the bible?

Psalm 118:8

This verse says something very significant about God’s will for our lives.  Something very significant.  So significant in fact, the next time someone says to you they would like to find God’s perfect will for their lives, that they want God to be in the center of their lives, just send them to the center of the bible.

Psalms 118:8 (NKJV):

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put your confidence in man”

God really is in the details.

~ Kev

A sorrowful soul

I am tired.  I really am.  I’m more than just physically tired, I’m mentally tired as well.  My life over the past few months has been exceedingly busy and stressful.  At the moment, I am so mentally and physically tired that I am not even sure how I am managing to form coherent thought to transfer to writing.  I’m so overly tired, that I know that without some help, I won’t sleep.  My mind is full of racing thoughts and my body hurts to the point I find it hard to get comfortable.

Stressful and busy.  It’s a heavy combination and one that all of us are familiar with.  I have sick friends.  A friend’s godson has swine flu.  My daughter is dealing with issues and school.  I’m dealing with marriage issues.  I’m dealing with parent issues.  Family issues.  Work issues.  I’m working a lot of long hours and although I have vacation time available, I don’t feel like I can take the time off right now.  I have money issues and worries, as I’m sure a lot of us do.

Stressed, tried, hurting, emotionally exhausted?  Yeah.

I’m sure I’m not the only one.  In fact I know I’m not.  But when you are dealing with these type of issues all at once, there are days when you feel like you are hanging at the end of your rope.  How do you handle it?  How do you keep going?

Somehow or other, we all do what we must.

When I’m feeling like this, if always brings to mind Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He to was tired.  Stressed.  The time was at hand, and he knew it.  His soul was filled with sorrow.  He knew a type of stress that was so great that it is one I hope never to experience.  He knew that all His hard work was coming to a close here on earth.  He had tried to prepare His disciples.  Were they ready?  Had He done enough?  Could they go on without Him?  He was also about to be betrayed by one of His own.  Handed over to the authorities and He knew, beyond a shadow of doubt, what was about to happen.  He was going to die.

That kind of stress would probably break me to the point where I would be sitting in a corner drooling on myself, mentally gone.  But not Jesus.

I refer you to the scriptures found in Mark 14.

Mar 14:34 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.

Mar 14:35 And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

Mar 14:36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

Mar 14:37 And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour?

Mar 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.

Mar 14:39 And again he went away, and prayed, and spake the same words.

Mar 14:40 And when he returned, he found them asleep again, (for their eyes were heavy,) neither wist they what to answer him.

Mar 14:41 And he cometh the third time, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest; it is enough, the hour is come; behold, the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.

Mar 14:42 Rise up, let us go; lo, he that betrayeth me is at hand.

Yes, Jesus was stressed.  There are stories that He was so stressed that while He was praying, He sweated blood.  That has been scientifically proven to be possible.  I can’t even imagine the level of stress Jesus was experiencing.

He asked His Father, the Almighty, to let this cup pass from Him.  In other words, if possible, let this not happen.  But He also added in, not my will, but yours.  Meaning, I am asking, but whatever YOU decide is the right course.

In the end, the choice of Jesus’ Father was clear.  He had to face what He knew was coming, and endure.  That is exactly what He did.

I am convinced that He was only able to do it because even as stressed as He was, even though He was asking for a change in the plan, that He ultimately found the courage to stand up to His future because in that Garden, He was in the presence of God.  He might have been asking for a different outcome, but He was still in His presence.  He was praying, communing with God.

Now that I’m stressed, I to need to seek the presence of God.  I need to commune with Him.  Of course, I will ask for things, but in the end, He knows best.  But I know that even asking for different outcomes, just being in His presence will ease me in ways that nothing else can.

You to should seek to commune with God is such situations.  It’s hard to remember to pray, to seek for God when things are so hard, busy, and stressful.  But what better time is there?  He is our Father, and He loves us.  He might not always give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need.

Seek him.  At all times.  Pray without ceasing.  Don’t fall into the trap that Simon and the other disciple did, and fall asleep when they should have been praying.  Seek his presence, so you to can face what is coming next.

~ Kev

The Greatest Evangelist Ever

One of my favorite historical figures is a man who helped set the world on fire.  His name was Paul.  That wasn’t his original name, it was later changed, perhaps to reflect a huge change in his life.

This former tent maker had an unexpected encounter on a long road that would change not only his life, but the rest of the world.  And who says one person can’t make a huge difference?

He was from Tarsus and Saul was his Roman name.  He was the son of Jewish parents and was of the tribe of Benjamin.  He was reared according to the strict religious-nationalistic party of the Pharisees, and enjoyed the high distinction of Roman citizenship.  Saul was his Roman name.

As a youth he went to Jerusalem to become immersed in the Law and had as a teacher the celebrated Gamaliel. He acquired skill as a tent-maker, a work he continued even as an apostle. At the time of Jesus’ ministry he no longer was at Jerusalem; neither did he see the Lord during His earthly-life. Upon returning to the Holy City, Paul discovered a flourishing Christian community and at once became its bitter opponent. When Stephen impugned Law and temple, Paul was one of the first at his stoning; thereafter his fiery personality would lead the persecution.

You see, Paul had a thing against these “Christ Followers” and did everything he could to bring them to “justice”.

But Paul had a destiny and on a lonely long road, a road called the Damascus road, he met it head on.  He met someone, someone he never had before and still didn’t even get to see his face.  This meeting affecting his so severely, he stopped his persecution of the followers of Christ and began to spread the messages that Jesus had left.  Talk about a religious moment!  The very one he met was Christ, who spoke to him, and then stuck him blind.

Paul finished his journey, blind, scared, and uncertain.  But Jesus had struck him blind for a reason.  Paul needed to see inward, instead of outward.  So that he could see clearly.  Scales grew over his eyes and because he couldn’t see, he did indeed turn into himself, and took a good long look.  What he saw there, well, let us just say that he didn’t like what he saw.

Jesus sent someone to him to pray for him and when he did, his sight was restored, but that wasn’t the only change.  Now, the one time Pharisee was himself a follower of Christ and wanted nothing more than to spread His message of hope and salvation.

And spread the word he did.  His travels were extensive and the letters he left that we now read in the Bible are priceless.  Once a stiff-necked Pharisee, he was now and Evangelist for Christ.

So what was it exactly that made such a dramatic and life altering change in Paul?  Was it simply the sound of the voice of Jesus?  Was it the fact that when he heard the voice of Jesus, he fell to his face, expecting death?  Was it the fact that Jesus left him alive, but blinded him?  It was all of these, and more.

Show a man his failures without Jesus, and the result will be found in the roadside gutter.  Give a man religion without reminding him of this filth, and the result will be arrogance in a three-piece suit.  But get the two in the same hear – get sin to meet Savior and Savior to meet sin – and the result just might be another Pharisee turned preacher who sets the world on fire.

Thank you Paul, for you gifts and your work.

~Kev

Hope is realized for my Grandmother

On the 15th of July, 2009, my Grandmother, Francis Riley passed away.  Obviously, we knew it was coming, as death comes to us all.  Not only that, but she had lived a long life.  She was 91.

I often think, and thought, about all the different changes she witnessed in her life over the years.  Listening to some of her stories, I can appreciate how far life in the U.S has come.

Unfortunately, one of the things she witnessed, was the growing trend of people turning away from God.  My Grandmother was a Christian.  While she was able, she was a faithful attendee of her church.  When my sister and I stayed over on the weekends with her, she always took us to church with us.  One memory I have, one of the few of actually going to church with her, was discovering she had a wonderful singing voice.  I learned this as she sang along to an old Hymn.  I don’t remember which one it was of course, as I was very young, but I remember my surprise at how good she sounded as she sang along.  It’s a wonderful memory that I will continue to remember.

Being a Christian myself, and knowing she was also a Christian, the loss of her has not been a large burden.  I mourn her loss of course, but that is only because she is no longer here with us, telling me the same stories she had told me a thousand times.  Or to listen to her fuss at my father.

I really don’t understand how so many people can turn from God, especially these days.  I just can’t get past the fact that so many people would rather believe they are here, and afterwards, there is nothing.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  But it makes me understand why some people are so bitter these days.  They have no hope.

You see, as a Christian, we have the eternal hope, the biggest hope, the wonderful hope, that death of our bodies is not the end.  Than when we leave this world, we are bound for another.

Is it so difficult to believe?  Or to understand?  That God gave us a place to stand, to learn to love, to have the ultimate choice in loving Him, so that there is no finality.

Looking at the world around us, the skies above us, and the universe around us, why is it so hard to believe that an Ultimate Creator, God, set it all there?

Why would someone rather believe that it was all random, that if not for a 1 in over a billion billion chances, life started on this planet and somehow evolved into humans?  That now, we are born, and then we die, and that is all there is.  I can not fathom why someone would rather believe this than that a God could make everything out of love, especially us, because He wanted someone to love Him out of choice and not obligation.

I would rather believe that there is a God, that His Son was here, died for our sins and that at the end of my life, I will have a place by His side.  That hope keeps me going through some pretty harsh days.

I would rather believe in the scripture that states “O Death, where is thy sting?”  For death, for the believer is something far different for us than for the non-believer.  For us, death of the mortal body means to be in the presence of God, our creator, who loves a perfect love, one so perfect we chase it throughout our days here.

For me, it’s far better to have hope than to simply exist.

As a believer, I know my Grandmother is now without pain, without suffering.  Her mind, which had deteriorated, is whole and sound.  She knows no pain, only joy and happiness.  So although I will miss her here on Earth, I rejoice in knowing she is home.

Do you have such hope?  Or do you just exist?

~Kev

What about my needs?

I’m 42 years old now. I’ve survived my childhood as a hyperactive kid, my moody and broody teenage years, my ridiculous notion that I was grown up and ready to conquer the world in my twenties, the infamous “Christ Complex” at age 33, a small child who has grown into a beautiful teenage daughter, twenty years of marriage and I’m now looking at the quickly approaching middle aged mark.

At times, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself.  Other times.. not so much.  Still, I’m still married, I have a wonderful daughter and most days I feel pretty blessed.

I have grown over the years, no doubt about it.  Not just up and out, but emotionally and mentally as well.  Despite the fact, there are still moments of insecurity and other issues that plague me.  I know I’m not alone in this, because people have talked to me, I’ve read articles, and etc.

When I was a baby, where I’m sure various people dropped me on my head on a number of occasions, my needs were fairly simple.  I needed touch, food, sleep, care, love.  I needed help in learning some basic things.  Like how to walk, how to talk, what to do and what not to do.

As I became self aware, as a child, not much changed there.  Oh I might have been able to walk and run, but now I needed to know how to walk and run in the right direction.  I still needed touch, food, sleep, care, love, how to talk, and what to do and not what to do.

As I became a teenager, despite my actions to the contrary, I still needed… the exact same things.  But I also needed to learn to love, not the simple innocent love a child has, but a more grown-up love.  Instead of getting all of those things, it had come time for me to learn to give some of those things as well.

As a young man, in my twenties… well, I still needed the same things.  I still needed to give those things.

In my thirties and now in my forties, well, nothing much has changed.  Except I have learned more about love and the things I really need, and how better to give those things that others require of me.  Perfectly?  No.  I’m far from perfect, being only a man, but I try and I continue to learn.

I still need to be touched.  I still need to feel wanted and needed, I still need care, I still need love, I still need food and sleep, and I still struggle in learning what to do and what not to do.  Add that to the fact I still need to learn to walk and talk, just not like I did as a child.  Now, that walking and talking involves relationships, friendships, my marriage, my daughter, and my relationship with God.

There are days when I still feel like I have so much to learn.  In truth, I do.  I have come to realize that in these things, I will never stop learning and never be perfect.  It just isn’t possible.

I’ve also come to realize something very important though.  The things I need, the things i still need, well I can’t always depend on people for those things.  The reasons are legion.  But it’s true none the less.  Sometimes I’m needy, and other times I’m not.  I would like to think that I’m one of those people who the non-needy days out weight the needy ones, but if I’m honest with myself, I know that isn’t true.  My wife is one those people.  Most days it looks like she really doesn’t need anyone or anything.  Strong and independent.  I wish I could be more like that.  I can also see that my daughter is taking after her mother.  She to is strong and independent.  When I sit and think about it for to long, well, it shames me that I can’t be more like them.  This is no reflection on them, my parents, or my friends, but being a kinda needy person, coupled with people who aren’t, well, often times the things I need they can’t give me.  It just doesn’t occur to them, because they are strong and independent.  Don’t get me wrong, they DO try.  More often than not, and I’m not complaining.

But, back to what I realized though.  There is only one that truly knows me, so deeply, so intimately, that this one can give me everything I need.  This one understands me in ways that no one else does, and no one else ever can.  Every fault, every desire, every need, every thought process, this one knows.  Even the dark deep secret things that I never let out to see the light of day, this one knows… and understands.

Care?  This one gives it.

Love?  This one not only gave it, but continues to give it.

Food?  This one promised to provide, and has never let me down.

Sleep?  That is more of a natural thing, but often when I can’t sleep, this one helps.

Needed? This one makes me feel needed and wanted.

Touch?  This one touches me in ways that go beyond the physical, beyond anything I could have imagined.

Someone to talk to?  Check.  Teaching and helping me with my walks?  Check.  Helping me with the direction I am supposed to take?  Check.

In short, this one gives me everything I need, day after day, week after week, month after month and all that is required is for me to ask for it.

I’m talking about Jesus of course.  The one who truly knows me.  The one who promised never to leave or forsake me.  The one who loves me beyond measure, beyond comprehension.  The one who gave his life, willingly, for me to have the opportunity for eternal life.  The one who knows all my faults and mistakes, and loves me anyway.  The one who is proud of me, when I accomplish something, and rejoices with me.

That’s powerful.  That’s awesome.  That’s sobering.  That’s inspiring.

How can I not love him?  How can I not want him?  How can I not need him?

How can you not?

~Kev

Salvation in all it’s glory

I imagine the day was pretty warm.  The region is known for it after all.  Which means that there were a lot of people who were hot, tired, scared, and cranky.  Just days ago, they were celebrating.  They had their freedom, a miraculous freedom, of their entire people.  But days later, that feeling of victory and celebration turned sour, leaving shouts of anger and ridicule.

God had given Moses a monumental task.  In the form of a burning bush no less.  Can you even imagine it?  You’re investigating a strange light you suspect is a fire up on a mountain, and what you find is a bush that is burning, but not being consumed.  Then there was a voice.  Coming from the bush.  Would you think you had lost your mind?  Maybe that is exactly how Moses felt at first, and I imagine he did.  For a moment, he must have thought that he had had to much to drink the night before.  If that was how he felt, those feelings were quickly dashed, as he felt the Presence of the One who Created and Ruled over all.  Once he felt that presence, he was quick to answer that voice, and take off his sandals.  I would love to feel the presence that Moses felt that day.  To make you go from thinking you’re imagining things, to following His orders so fast, it must have been something else.

Shortly afterwards, I imagine Moses wished he was imagining things.  For what God commanded he do had the once proud prince of Egypt trembling in fright.  Well, how would you feel if God told you to go head to head with a powerful leader?  By yourself?  Scary thought?  Oh yeah.

Moses tried to weasel his way out of it, coming up with excuses, but God was having none of that.  He had made His decision.  He had heard His people crying out, and now the time had come to act.  Moses was chosen as His representative.  Running from God’s commands is not something you can do, as Jonah certainly found out.  When God points His finger and says you’re it, He means it.  Reluctantly, Moses agreed, but then again, what choice did he really have?

But as he traveled back to Egypt, the one time prince turned shepherd, a change overcame him.  I only imagine it was because he could feel God’s presence traveling with him.  The one time prince turned shepherd became a force to be reckoned with.  I imagine that once Moses realized it, it was a very heady feeling.  Yet it didn’t make him enter Egypt and beg for an audience with Pharaoh with a swelled head.  That to, I believe was due to the presence of God.  I  mean don’t you think that if you suddenly realized you were capable of showing a powerful leader reasons why he should let a large group of slaves free, you might be thinking you were “The Man”?  Maybe, but not Moses.  Instead, he took that new found purpose and along with his “public relations officer”, he confronted Pharaoh and miracles happened.  In the end, Pharaoh did what God wanted, after all, who can stand against God?

But days later, after getting out of town, loaded down with wealth and supplies, Pharaoh had a change of heart, that God allowed.  Why?  Because God had a point He wanted to prove.  Not to just the Egyptians, not to just the Israelites, but to modern day us.

Pharaoh and his arm pursued, with the idea of getting the slaves back.  He chased down Moses and the newly freed rich slaves and backed them into a corner.  They were between a rock and hard place, literally.  There, by a large rock, they gathered, facing the Red Sea.  Behind them was the army.  This is when the jubilant free people turned scared, mean, and cranky.  Would you blame them if you had been there?

But this is when God moves again.  He had already supplied a number of miracles for all to witness, yet still, the people cried out to Moses.  Since he was their leader, at least the one they could see, the blame fell on him.  To them, the one who had freed them was God, but somehow, now that they were in danger, it was all Moses’ fault.  How terrible Moses must have felt!  But wait a minute… did he feel terrible?  No, no he didn’t.  The shepherd did what shepherd’s do, he let his flock.

God but a barrier between the army and the flock, and for the moment, everyone was safe.  But was that enough?  Strangely enough, no.  But God wasn’t finished quite yet.  As Moses raised his arms, and called out to God, God answered, and He parted the Red Sea.  What a sight that must have been!  I can imagine it, but yet I can’t really IMAGINE it.  Not only was the sea now parted, but the ground that was once covered in water was dry.  So the once proud prince turned shepherd, lead his flock to the other side to safety.  Of course, once they all were there, and God removed the barrier, they all started to fret again as the army started to cross.  But God still wasn’t done.  He wanted His people safe.  So as the army crossed, God closed the sea, giving the Israelites complete freedom.  He saved them, in a very miraculous fashion.  Salvation came to them that day, despite their bickering and whining.  Because that is how God works.  God is in the Salvation business.

And don’t you forget it.