A Brokenhearted Trail

There was a guy with a big heart, who just so happened to like young adult and teenagers and not in some kinky perverted way so get your mind out of the gutter.

 He felt for them, because there are so many things that you have to go through as a teenager and a young adult.  The big hearted man had been though these things himself, as a teen and as a young adult.  Luckily, because this man acted like a kid himself, he was able to relate to these groups of the populace at large.

Since this man with the big heart was a minister, he decided to get involved with youth ministry.  For awhile, he was very happy, and he felt like he was actually making a difference in a few lives.  It made the man feel self worth, made him happy, made him feel like he had finally found what he was supposed to do in this world.  All was well and right with the world for 2 years.

 Then a bad thing happened.

It wasn’t an illegal thing, or a horrible thing, just a bad thing.  You see, the big hearted man had trouble with the man in charge of the place where the big hearted man did his youth ministry.  Things began to unravel and the big hearted man became sad.  Very sad.  In the end, the big hearted man had to leave this place.  The youth who once called him at all hours of the day and night suddenly wouldn’t have anything to do with him and treated him like he was not a big hearted man, but a bad man.  This made the big hearted man even sadder.

 He had hoped to find another place where he could once again become involved and make a difference.  After a few months of searching, he thought he had found this place.  So he went there, not with the intent to take over, but just to get involved.  Maybe help out.  Unfortunately, he met with resistance, and wariness, and rumors.  Then, once again, a bad thing happened.  This was a different bad thing than before, but in the end, the big hearted man no longer felt welcome, despite the best efforts of the man in charge of the new place, who also happened to have a big heart.

 Perhaps the big hearted man should have stayed and tried to work through it, but in the end, he felt he couldn’t, for various personal reasons.  Once again, the big hearted man was sad.

 The big hearted man began to feel lost.  The trail he had been traveling became rocky, and had steep hills to climb and he became tired and simply lost his way in the wilderness.

 Well, the big hearted man didn’t like feeling this way.  So, he decided to try and explore other avenues, to try and reach out, to try and make a difference, once again.

He tried and tried several ideas.  The problem was, everywhere he went, he met with resistance and ridicule.  The resistance wasn’t so bad, but the ridicule was.  That was hard for the big hearted man to take.  So now, the big hearted man has stepped back, not knowing what else to do, feeling sad, lost and awkward.  Maybe one day, something will happen, some door will open, and the big hearted man can once again find it in himself to try and make a difference.  Maybe.

But, the big hearted man learned a valuable lesson.  There are many ways to have your heart broken, and all of them hurt just as bad.

Summer came in with a bang

So it’s been awhile.  Again.  I’m sure those of you who read my blogs missed me.  At least I hope you have anyway.  There aren’t many of you, but I appreciate every one.

So why have a been gone so long this time?

Oh let me count the ways.

So, you ask, what has Kevin been up to?  Numerous things.  Good things and bad things.  Odd things and surprising things.  You know, the usual.  It’s been a busy last 3 months to say the least.  It has left me feeling to lazy to write actually.

Don’t worry, I’ll share, and even give you my usual.  Just not sure yet where this posting will go.  Lets find out together shall we>

The things I have been up to are listed here in no particular order or importance.  You should be able to figure out which ones are highly important to me though.

Coffee:  I still have this strange love affair with this mostly adult beverage.  Not the fru fru versions that the kids drink mind you.  I don’t care for the sickly sweet fraca mocha latte something or other stuff.  Coffee should never be turned into some kind of half milkshake.  But that is just me.

Friends:  I once had a friend who was closer to me than anyone has ever been.  We think a like in most things, enjoy the same things, and this guy is general one of the nicest guys you will ever meet.  His name is Tony.  Tony has one of those unique abilities to get along with anyone.  He rarely sees people’s “faults” in such away that would make him, like most of us do, ignore people.  I’ve learned to be like that somewhat from him.  I have a long way to go, but I appreciate what I have managed to learn from him.  Several years ago, he remarried after losing his wife.  Things were very hard for him over the last few years, through no fault of his own, and he somewhat lost touch.  Now we are back to talking and hanging out.  I’ve really missed his humor, his advice and his company.  Now I don’t have to anymore.

Work:  I feel lucky to have a job in this economy.  But I wish I was making more money.  With my career, the way to make more money is to sell more.  Things have been rough out there though so that has been difficult.  Due to economics, I have lost a few customers, even as I have gained some.  It’s like I’m running to stand still.  Annoying, but that is life, yes?  I still have a problem with one of the chemicals I work with almost on a daily basis.  Due to my skin problems, contact with this chemical causes an instant burn.  Even now, as i write this, I have burns on me.  There are rather ugly, and the blisters look scary.  My daughter and wife look ill every time they look at it.  There are a few things in the works that if they come though, will be enormously beneficial to me and my family.  Frankly, they will save my bacon.  I’m desperately praying they come though.  Fell free to pray for me on this one

House:  I have, at least for the short term, managed to save my house.  It amazes me that with all the talk that Obama and his administration have done to supposedly make it easy for this to happen, that so many people are still losing their houses.  I don’t understand it.  All their talk, and the money they put into the market to help, has not been a help at all.  Why?  Because though the government has given money to the lenders to help and encourage them to write down interest in home loans, the lenders re still operating under their old philosophy of taking homes away from people.  Thousands of honest hard working Americans have lost their jobs due to this economy and despite promises of help from the government, thousands are still losing their houses every day. Simply because they are unable to land a job.  One of the best things that might have happened, was that there was a bill that would have allowed bankruptcy judges to rewrite home loans, since the lenders are refusing to do it.  It failed by a hand full of votes.  Stupid stupid stupid.  But why should are government lawmakers care?  They are all millionaires.  I’m looking forward to elections.  They all deserve to be voted out.

Seriously people.  It’s time for the American people to take back control of this country.  Our law makers, and even the president’s staff are not doing us any favors.  If they aren’t so busy fighting amongst them selves, they are to busy doing things they should not be doing.  This does not an effective government make.

Our country is currently paying the price for years of government neglect.  Bad decisions, along with other factors, has left this country in a state where a lot of our jobs were sold over seas in the name of more profit, so that CEO’s could rake in millions while the middle class workers lost their jobs.

This is only a small part of what our “government” has done to this country and it’s citizens.

How can an honest hard working middle class citizen chase the American dream when the very government who is supposed to sit back and let it happen does everything in it’s power to ensure it doesn’t.

Boy, I could go on for hours on this topic.  I’m sick of the current status quo in Washington.  I don’t think I can name ONE member who is worthy to be in office. Not because they aren’t smart enough, but because they don’t care about the citizens and the state of our country.  I don’t blame the wars we are involved in.  By rights, that should have helped create new jobs.  History has shown that when war was necessary, this country thrived because of it.  It was as if we were being rewarded by God by being the one bright light in the world, that stood for human decency and democracy.  I believe it isn’t happening now because our own democracy is such a poor state.

Obama was about change, but where is that change?  I don’t see it, and it sure hasn’t helped me.  Or my neighbors and friends, or this country.

In General:  I’ve seen a lot of crazy things going on in this country that defies common sense.  Parents came seem to display and neither can the government.  Take sexting for example.  Schools are trying to make is so that if a student sexes, even off school property, then they will be expelled for 90 days.  How does this make sense?  Are we so worried about children’s “rights” that we can’t do the right thing?  First of all, parents should have to the smarts to REMOVE picture messaging from their children’s cell phone.  As a last result, why not make it so that no one under 18 can have picture messaging?  That makes sense doesn’t it.  Kicking a kid out of school for 90 days does NOT make sense.  In fact, it’s plain stupidity.  Then of course, some children got kicked out for bringing their little green plastic toy soldiers to school because it violates the gun ban.  Ummm.  HOW STUPID IS THIS.  This world has gone backwards and is behaving badly.  Many people in charge need a spanking in my opinion.  They are simply acting bug nuts.  How about his one?  A young girls in school was handing a tylenol or Aleeve.  Don’t remember which.  She took it but then handed it back and said no, it would violate school policy.  This was witnessed by a teacher.  So what happened?  This girl was expelled because she TOUCHED the pill.  Even though she followed school policy and didn’t take it.  Our school systems aren’t teaching our kids correctly.  It’s sad.

I’m just going to close now.  There is still so much more I could say, but for now I’m going silent again.  There is only so much time I can spend thinking about all of this stuff without having my blood pressure go up.

The last thing I will mention is that my daughter is now a senior in high school.  I’m proud of her of course, but let me tell you, this makes me feel old.  I didn’t want her to grow up this fast.  But like the tide, there is no stopping it.

Until later, cheers.

~ Kevin

Homeowner’s Blues

This entry is pretty much dedicated to those young people who are getting ready to, or have recently, purchased their first house.

One of the wonderful joys of owning your own house is well, you don’t have to sleep in a cardboard box in an alley with rats.  Although I’m sure there is joy to be found there as well.  Hey, if nothing else, searching through dumpsters for stuff is like a treasure hunt!  Another joy to owning your own house is   you no longer have to live with your parents.  Come on, that’s just lame.  Unless you don’t mind milking your parents, then that’s just smart investment planning.  Nothing quite says love like milking your inheritance now, instead of waiting for it right?

One of the not so joys of owning your own house is the maintenance.  You will be surprised at the number of things that will go wrong in your new home.  I’m not talking about those things you do to get yourself in trouble, like convincing your wife that this is a GREAT idea, and breaking the bed.  Get my drift?  That will earn you one of those “I told you so” smirks, and various bruises and possible broken bones.  Unless it’s your wife who has the bruises and broken bones.  Then I would suggest creating a new identity and moving to Alaska where she can’t find you.

When you’re young, you tend to think that hey, all I will have to do is cut the grass, slap some paint on once in awhile and it’s all good.  WRONG.  Anything and everything can and will go wrong in your house.

Some good examples?  Your wife buying a watermelon and setting it somewhere and forgetting about it.  Then it bursts and leaks and ruins your dry wall.

Or how about when your wife decides she just HAS to have to a new stove that requires both gas AND electric hook up.

Or one of the thousand cats your lovely wife (who is one of the women who is headed for freaky old lady cat status), tears up your carpet for no good reason.

Of course, there are the regular things.  Appliances break.  Light fixtures break.  Everything breaks.  Because you own the house, it’s now your responsibility to fix these items.  If you are lucky enough to make $ 947393748933203 dollars a year, no worry, just call someone to fix it for you.  However, if you are like me, most things have to get fixed by YOU.  Not fun.

Especially when your lovely wife (and don’t think she won’t do it) will do everything in her power to make removing or fixing things AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE.  It’s payback for all the times you stayed out with the boys to long, or for all the times you “forgot” to take out the trash (don’t lie, you know you were faking), or stayed up to late watching football when she came in the room in brand new lingerie and tried to get you to come to bed.  Oh sure, you’re thinking “not my wife, she is cool, she would never do that”.  OH YES SHE WILL.  Women are devious and vengeful, and hold a grudge.  Trust me.

All of this can lead to those homeowner blues.  When you have to fix that stopped up sink when the game is on, or when your wife convinces you that you CAN put that new wooden floor down, even though you are NOT A FREAKING CARPENTER.

Well, my lovely example of homeowner blues is the recent difficulty of my hot water heater.  It’s leaking.  Like the titanic.  Water all over the floor.  We are trying to keep up with it but I really think we need like… a pump or something.

The thing is, I have a gas hot water heater.  Not only does it supply hot water to my daughter’s bathroom, so she can take her 2 hour showers, but it also is used to heat my house.  Which means it’s a big one.

Checking out prices to have someone come and fix it came as a shock.  I remember buying cars for less.  So, I had no choice, being pretty broke and poor, but to buy a new one and find a way to replace it myself.  I got the new water heater, but I’m still working on getting things ready and able to replace it myself.  Lucky for me, I have a father-in-law who knows his stuff, unlike my generation.  He actually KNOWS how to use tools, and do things like replace hot water heaters.

Don’t get me wrong.  If it was a standard hot water heater, I could do it myself.  I’ve done it before.  But we are talking a gas line here and water lines that go to mysterious places in the house, or maybe another dimension.  I’m frankly scared to do it on my own.

So now we are getting ready to replace the thing.  Hopefully all will go well.  Once we get things out of the way in our utility room and remove the washing machine.  It’s kinda in the way.  Just my luck.  My wife planned it that way.  I know she did.

Of course, this would all be much easier if I actually had the original book for my water heater.  We looked for it, and believe it or not, we knew exactly where all the books for our house were, even after 17 years of being here.  Problem was, the practical jokers who built my house gave me a book for an electric water heater that doesn’t even LOOK like mine.

So, I’m in a state of homeowner blues and I have got to get this done soon, before my floor rots out.  Or a portal to another universe opens from he weird fluctuations from the hot water heater and water leaking out the bottom.  Hey, it’s all part of home owner maintenance right?

Remember to drain your water heater once a year, to help get the junk out the bottom.  This will help improve the life of your water heater.  If you don’t, you’re gonna be in the same fix as me.  Pity me.  Pray for me.  Of, if you’re qualified, come fix it for me for.  I can probably scramble a couple of dollars from the couch to pay you.

~Kev

It’s been a kinda weird week

At least for me.  I’m not the only one though.  It’s been a weird week for Jay Leno and Conan O’Brian as well.  Of course, let’s not forget NBC.

I’ve been trying.  Racking my brain, listening to others, listening to myself, all of that jazz.  But short of a magic crystal ball, no real good information or advice has been forthcoming.  So what is exactly is the deal?

I’m trying to find out where I fit in.

When it’s said like that, it sounds kind of sad, but it’s not meant to be.  We all long for a place to fit in, to be accepted for who and what we are.  The problem is, rarely can you find such, unless you have the luck of the Irish.  Something my father apparently didn’t pass on to me.

Years ago, I was called into the ministry.  Which, if you know me, or knew me I should say, was like a vast cosmic joke.  I mean KEVIN being called into the ministry?  You’ve got to be kidding!!!  But.  It happened.

It changed my life.

In so many ways.

I changed.  Not in a bad way.  In a good way.  I liked the new me.  I loved the new me.  I had a passion for helping people and ministering to people.  I wanted to share the Love Christ showed me with others, so they too could experience it.  It’s a tough row to hoe people, I know that.  I was warned of it, and I have experienced it.  I’m not here to complain about it.

But something funny happened on the way to me becoming fully involved with ministry.  I had a bad falling out with my church, my pastor, and his family.  I felt at the time that God had released me from that church and me and my family left there.  I was extremely broken hearted over it, and in some ways, I still am, struggling to let go of the past and move forward.  But….. I’m only human.

We found another church.  A church we liked.  Unfortunately, we once again found trouble.  Not with the pastor, who remains my pastor and a terrific friend, but with several families there.  Once again, I was left heartbroken.

I know that this thing isn’t supposed to be easy.  If for no other reason than ministry is about the people, people who have flaws and make mistakes.  Just as I am flawed and make mistakes.  But nothing has seemed to work for me.

I have two friends who went into ministry, one at the same time, one later and both are currently pastoring churches.  Sure, they are experiencing the highs and the lows of that, but it was almost as if all the right doors were opened for them.  That has not been the case for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way jealous of them.  God put them there, so how can I be?  I am proud of them both, and support them both.  I also pray that God will grant them many won souls for Christ.

But me?  Every door has been shut to me.  Each door I tried to open was locked.

I had a fine ministry going.  I was a youth pastor.  I love teens and young people.  I’m 40+ years old and most of the time would rather be in their company than those of my age group.

Part of that is that some things younger people aren’t as judgmental on as adults my age.  I dislike judgments of any kind, and try my hardest not to be judgmental.  I think there are to many people who are in church who do nothing but judge, and the body of Christ suffers for it.

Be that as it may, I lost that ministry.  Because of their parents, my entire youth group turned on me and let me tell  you, that was a very painful moment for me.

I lost friends my age because suddenly, I was no longer in a position at the church where I was ministering at.  That also hurt.

My family was accused, as well as I, over something false, and there was nothing the pastor could say or do to change this person’s mind.  Plus, it was something this person had done once before with another family in the past.  I feel we were blameless, but that is life.

So now I am left with my wife and daughter who have no desire to be in church any longer.  They have been hurt enough.  I can’t really say I blame them.  There are days I don’t want to be in church either.  But not for the same reasons.

Basically, I don’t belong anywhere.  I have no place.  I have no avenue for the future.  Where do I belong?  Where do I fit in?

My pastor says he thinks I should start an internet church.  There are plenty out there, and some are extremely successful.  But once I started looking into it, nothing was coming together.  Once again, I was met with locked doors.

So with my ministry in shambles, and things in my personal life, I honestly feel locked out of a lot of things.  And that I don’t belong anywhere.  It’s not a good feeling at all.

Don’t feel sorry for me or pity me.  That is not what this post is about.  Instead, this post is about me admitting that I feel like I don’t have somewhere to belong.  That I don’t fit in anywhere.  I don’t mind people reading it or commenting on it, but this post was basically to me, for me, by me.

I know I need to find the right direction.  I know I need a sign.  I know I need a lot of things, including an attitude adjustment.  I also need to stop letting other’s opinions of me stop putting stumbling blocks in my way.  I have no idea what God wants from me, and that is not a good thing.

But I will continue to struggle.  I will continue on my path in this life.  Over the rough spots and the easy ones.  To give up is to fail, and in God’s eyes, failure is impossible.

Until then, I will still be here, with the “what if” dreams and thoughts.  And the “I wish” dreams and thoughts.  And the “I want” dreams and thoughts.

Until next time…..

~ Kev

Something winter this way comes

I’m like most people where snow is concerned.  It’s pretty to look at, fun to play in (when dressed appropriately – ahem) but it sure makes a mess.  But I can even deal with the mess.  Snow just brings out the kid in me.  Like last year, when I helped decide it would be fun to take our 4 indoor cats and throw them outside in the snow and watch what happened.  Fun was had by all.  Except for the cats that is.  For some reason, they were not amused.  Oh well, I had fun, and that is all that matters right?

For those of you who are animal lovers, no cats were harmed in the “throw the cats in the snow marathon”.  I’m just saying.

Like I’ve said in the past, Richmond usually gets the short end of the stick for snow lovers.  We are right on that boarder line where we either get rain, freezing rain, or sleet.  But this makes twice in one year we have gotten more than flurries, which really makes me question the idiotic nice scientists who are pushing global warming.  We haven’t gotten this much snow in Richmond in 20 years I think.

I guess I’m not the only one who has their inner child pulled out by the snow.  At least judging from this nice piece of snow art.

Maybe the artist was also making a statement about global warming, since the global warming summit thingy made front page news.  Who can say?

Now, I’m the type of guy that really hates sitting around the house with nothing to do (other than my wife’s never ending to-do lists which she seems to think I will work on while she is working – yeah right babe.  She is a sucker like that).  So, even when we get snow, I just have to find an excuse to go out.

It could be that I just like driving in the snow.  I will neither confirm nor deny.  I plead the 5th.

Which brings me to my point.

Why are all these people out on the road, interrupting my sightseeing run to get extra milk?  Never mind me, I can actually drive in the snow (no really, I can).

Something about living in Richmond makes people turn stark raving mad when we have snow.  They all immediately jump in their cars and hit the roads, especially when the officials beg us all to stay home.  Just another example of the man trying to keep me down in my case, and a truly desperate plea in everyone else’s case.

Let me tell ya.  Richmonders can NOT drive in the snow.  Period.

Some of these drivers are to be expected.  The adolescent boys in their jacked up 4-wheel drives out having fun doing donuts in the snow, drinking, and trying to impress their hormonal girlfriends running food to the needy.  Then there is the law, trying to help stranded motorists and keeping the peace (no, I did not pass a poor policeman in his car, trying to make it up a hill, all the while laughing evilly – I have an evil twin and it was him I tell ya).

I mean, while I’m out driving, minding my own business, I have to put up with either someone going 5 miles an hour, or 100.  I have to put up with the yuppies in their SUV’s, thinking they are invincible in the snow.  I have to put up with the Notherners who have moved down here and are sure they won’t have a problem because of all he snow they have driven in from their home state.  Usually, it’s the Northerners who have to be rescued first from the ditches.  Which makes me giggle for some reason.

Of course, I like to tell my wife these amusing stories, which in turn, leads me to get yelled at, because she is convinced I can’t drive at all and I end up sitting at home.

ALL BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE WON’T STAY HOME WHERE YOU BELONG WHEN IT SNOWS.

Life isn’t fair man.

Looks like I’m stuck here, looking out the window.  Now, where did all our cats go?  I think they are hiding.

~Kev

I’ve got that loving feeling (again).

Right now, everything in The Life of Riley is pretty much… well, like The Life of Riley.  Meaning everything is running smoothly and well.  Except the part where I haven’t won the lottery yet.  My wife is being domestic and nice to me.  Giving me extra kisses, not forgetting to say goodnight, calling me on the phone just to check in on me and generally being sweet.  My daughter, the sass master of all time, is being nice to.  She is speaking to me in the mornings (she is a horrible morning person), texting me to let me know where she is like she is supposed to, and listening to me lecture her when needed without rolling her eyes or sarcastic comeback.

Lucky me right?

All of this leads me to realize I can choose one of three multiple choice options in response.

a) Be appreciative and say awwwww and try to be nice in return

b) Accept it as my due, since I am the big bad man of the house and deserve such due to my awesome good looks and mighty charm

c) Realize I’m being buttered up like a Christmas Goose

Well, my Momma didn’t raise no dummy despite her claims to the contrary and I know my two women well.  After all, I’ve been married for 20 years, and my daughter is 17.  Which means I only really have one option here.  Option C.

That’s right folks.  I’m being set up.

The problem is, I haven’t been able to figure out for what.  To say I’m starting to get nervous is an understatement.  Sure, sit there in your chair and roll your eyes at me and mutter “wow isn’t he the suspicious sort”.  You’re either young (read naive) or don’t know my girls.

Both of them were born for the natural instinct that God gives all women.  Manipulation.  Both have large, female disney character style eyes, and pouty lips.  When they unleash their arsenal of weapons, it’s difficult for any man not to give in.  Oh, did I forget to mention the tears?  Big giant ones that slowly roll down their cheeks that somehow, can get turned on and off with a snap.  I know there must be a switch for that somewhere, but I have been unable to find it.  I did look.  Using my male authority, I had them both facing the wall, with hands on it while I frisked them.  Even amongst the giggling, squirming and annoyed questions of “what do you think you’re doing”, I failed in that quest.  Sherlock, I’m not.

But let’s do some reviewing shall well?

One year, when our daughter was still a rather obnoxious baby who had us wrapped around her little finger toddler, my wife decided she just HAD to have a Christmas tree in her room for her.  Well, being a man, I thought that was a bit of overkill.  Think of the expense, I reasoned, the trouble, the extra lights and ornaments.  Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well.  The worst part of it was, it had to be a specific tree.  Do you remember the fad years ago with the six foot trees that were really skinny?  Yup, had to be one of those.  And of course, she picked that year to try and get one, when everyone else wanted one.  She ran all over town, with me on the phone calling every store in the phone book.  It took a number of days, but she finally got that tree.  Yeah, I could have put my foot down, but I really didn’t want to face the big eyes, giant tears, and pouting.  So I was a wuss and went along for the ride.

You try saying no to this.

Or how about the whole year my daughter worked on me to get that nose piercing she just had to have?  I tried to be an adult, explain why it was “not a good idea” and all I got was the face, and the tears, and the moans, and they lectures from my wife of you just don’t understand young girls (which is true btw).  So yeah, in the end, she got the piercing.  Again, try saying no to the cuteness of the Kitty Princess.

Then there was the time a few months ago my wife convinced me to get my eyebrows done at one of those new kiosks in the mall where they use thread to painfully rip remove portions of your eyebrows, therefore shaping them.  She will deny this of course, but it was all her idea.  Hey, I’m a man, and I’m hairy.  I may look like a gorilla, but being a man, I don’t really care right?  Well let me tell you, that is one I will not make the mistake of falling for twice.  After the tears of pain stopped, I had to walk around with a glowing red forehead for an hour.  I looked ridiculous.  Like I had a neon sign on my forehead.  Not to mention the pain.  Man, the things women do to make themselves look good is beyond mentioning.

Of course, there is also the clues.  Even though I’m no Sherlock, I can still spot the signs.  The whispering, the sudden cessation of talking when I walk in the room, only to see two innocent smiles.

It all adds up one thing.  I’m in trouble peeps.

I’ve looked for clues around the house.  Scraps of paper, match books, the sudden appearance of brochures.  So far, I haven’t found anything.  But it’s coming.  I just know it.

I’ve got some vacation time.  I’m thinking of running off to the North Pole and help Santa, but I don’t know.  I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I return.

~ Kev

No Tattoo For You!

If you know me at all, you know my opinion of most doctors are that they are all a bunch of quacks who fly sound for the winter nice people who try their best for you.  Despite that, they don’t always get things right.  I’m a firm believer in the fact you know your own body better than they do, and if you have half the brain God gave you (and are able to use it) then you pretty much know what is going on and what needs to be done.

But every once in awhile, doctors get things right, and after debating a certain issue, I think in one particular case my evil psychopathic skin doctor dermatologist called it.

I have several skin issues.  The biggest one is a skin disease called eczema.  The second is something I don’t remember the name for, but it’s a rare disorder that is particular to those of American Indian descent.  But in this case, this is all about eczema.

If you aren’t that familiar with what eczema is, it is an affliction from the devil, a disease that causes rash like symptoms, itching, swelling, and cracking of the skin.  It’s no fun, trust me on this.  Blisters can form, and the itching is unbelievable.  When the skin cracks, it’s not uncommon to have slight bleeding.  I know right?  Gross.  I can only say that it is much worse than what it sounds like.

Eczema can be brought on by a number of things.  Stress, diet, chemicals, certain types of fabrics, dyes, soaps, all that fun stuff.  Finding out what the causes are can be a trying experience.  In my case, the chemicals I work with cause most of my difficulties.

One of the things I’ve learned about my case, is that dyes are a giant no-no.  I discovered this after getting one of those fake tattoos at the beach.

Don’t judge me, I still have a bit of a child in me.

This was before they started using the henna style of ink.  The older ink they used has the same dye in it that hair dye does.  Needless to say, after the ink wore off my skin, I had a breakout and I carried 1/4” welts on my skin in the exact shape of the tattoo for six months.  My dermatologist took one look at it, and yelled for her assistant to bring a camera.  That’s right, my breakout, in the form of 1/4” red welts in the form of a dragon, was immortalized and passed around the practice and laughed at placed in my file.  This was followed by an intense lecture of why I needed to stay away from dyes of all types.  I can’t even cover up my grey hair, which is a real bummer, let me tell you.

Well, I recently decided I really, really wanted to get a tattoo.  Nothing big or anything, just something small, something personal.  After the expert tongue lashing lecture my doctor gave me however, I decided I had better check in with her to see what she thought.  I pretty much figured the answer would be no, but hey, we all have hopes and dreams.

So I placed the call.

I talked to her nurse, and told her the deal, and she said she would pull my chart and talk to the good doctor and call me back the same day.  I got the call back in under a half hour.

The return phone call went something like this:

(ring right) Hello?

Mr. Riley?  This is Nurse %*$! from Doctor’s %&##$!’s office.  I talked to her and explained that you wanted to get a tattoo.  She looked at your file and under no circumstances should you try to get a tattoo.  The results would be unpredictable, and frankly, we aren’t sure how bad a break out you would have from it ok?

(noise of phone fumbling) Mr. Riley, this is Doctor $%!!!** and I just wanted to tell you that you must have lost your ever loving mind.  Don’t you remember the fake tattoo?  Are you nuts or something?  I don’t think you are in your right mind for even considering this and let me tell you – yadda yadda yadda.

She went on for quite a bit.  I’m sure she had lots of evil fun telling me off like that, and have no doubt she was hovering by the nurse just so she could talk mean to me.

However, at the end of her rant, I did hear the words, “But it’s up to you”.  I quite distinctly heard in that tone “if you’re some kind of brain dead idiot”.

Ok, maybe the conversation didn’t go quite like that, but it was close.

Needless to say, she dashed my hopes.  I had to swallow sadness.

So, to summarize, according to my Doctor, no tattoo for you.

Sometimes it’s no fun being “special” as my mother likes to say about me, but I always thought she meant that in a more derogatory way.

Ah well.  I guess I’ll have to find some other way of expressing my uniqueness.

~ Kev

Unexpected Piercing Trouble

Having a partner, a best friend, a better half, for 20 years creates some interesting dynamics.  I’m speaking of my wife of course, also known as the Evil Wife Creature.  Those dynamics, of course, include things like suppressing the urge to stab your husband, supporting each other at all times.  My wife has gotten involved in a number of things over the years, and I have supported them all (though at times I have been shocked), because, well, she is my best friend.

One of the things she has gotten into recently is piercings.  Not ear piercings, though there is certainly some of that.  I’m talking about body piercings, body modification, you know poking holes in strange places, piercings that allow you to wear jewelry in non standard places.

To know my wife is to know she isn’t into fads, and she takes things slowly.  Perhaps that is why it has taken her years to decide on what piercings to get.  But once she made the decision to do it, she went for it with gusto, and all or nothing event (like she does most things).

For those who haven’t been keeping up-to-date, she has:

• Standard ear piercings in each ear
• A second piercing above her standard piercing in one ear
• A cartilage piercing in one ear near the top of her ear
• An industrial piercing in the other (which is a double piercing that allows a long bar to be worn
• Tragus piercings in both ears (that’s the little flap in your ear)
• A nose piercing
• An eyebrow piercing
• A tongue piercing

So, does my wife have a thing for pain or something?  Obviously She would say no. Is it vanity?  She would say no, but I’m sure there is a little of that involved.  She likes them, and she likes to show her individuality.  She always has.  That’s just who she is.

She has had a lot of fun with it, as strange as that may sound.  She has also gotten a lot of compliments from people on them and has even gained some regular customers because they asked her about them and she opened up to them.  She has had a lot of the older generation ask her about them, and the ones who haven’t been totally shocked have found them to be interesting.  She has even had an 80+ year old woman who decided to get an industrial piercing after seeing hers.  To me, that was shocking.  Put the woman liked it so much and she said she was the type of person who wanted to experience a few more things before she left this world.  On an interesting side note, my wife told her getting it done didn’t hurt, not until afterwards.  This lady came back and laughed at her and told her she lied about the pain.

She has even had the opportunity to witness to people, believe it or not, because people started talking to her because of her piercings.  Not that I recommend you go out and have holes poked in your face as a witnessing tool, but hey, it has worked for her.

One of the things people always ask is “did that hurt?”  Mostly she says no.  A few of them did, either during, or afterwards during the healing process.  The industrial was the longest problematic piercing, because it took weeks to heal and she likes to sleep on that side and couldn’t while it healed.  One tragus piercing kinda hurt, the other one did.  Her tongue piercing was the one that hurt worse afterwards, but only for a few hours.  She was almost tempted to take it out at that point.

Which brings me to my point.  Some piercings can be a problem at unexpected times.  As many of you know, my wife has a sleeping disorder.  Her body wants to sleep all the time, and she has to take medication to stay awake and functional like a normal human being and normal is something that does not apply to my wife.  She takes Ritalin and Adderall.  Both of these medications are considered speed for the less informed.

As with most medications, they come with side effects.  One of the side effects my wife experiences is chewing on the inside of her mouth.  At times, she chews enough to make the inside of her mouth sore.  One of the reasons she wanted the tongue piercing was a hope that it would make her stop chewing.  That kind of makes sense, since you have this metal bar though your tongue to play with.

However, it is with some amusement, and compassion for her, that it has been discovered that the tongue piercing has not stopped the chewing and has, in fact, made it so that now her tongue is sore and swollen.  It’s not bad enough that she talks funny, but it is an aggravating thing for her to deal with and makes me giggle at odd times feel quite sorry for her.  At the present time, her new best friend is Ambosol, which considering the taste, makes me smirk every time she pulls it out.  She goes everywhere with it, I think, even to the bathroom.  If I wake up in the middle of the night, and look over to her side of the bed, I can see the tube of it staring at me which makes me think she is planning on squirting some of that vile stuff in my mouth while I’m sleeping.

So where am I going with all of this, other than to poke at my wife?  If you are considering a piercing in hopes that it will stop a habit, don’t get your hopes up.  It might just cause an entirely different problem.  Consider long and hard about what piercings you are going to get and why.  Think about it, seriously.  Some piercings, once you remove them, will leave scars.  Some, if they happen to get infected, and be dangerous and cost you a fortune in medical bills.  Some might cause you problems, despite how cool you think they might look.  Consider this one:  If you wear glasses and want your nose bridge pierced, your glasses are going to interfere.  If you want surface piercings on the back of your neck, you better have short hair, or your going to end up getting it caught and might just pull it out, which is going to hurt.  Badly.  If you are prone to getting into spats (like messing up and having your wife have to smack some sense into you like mine does on a regular basis), you might get something ripped out.  Just something to think about.

I will close with some pics of some of the piercings that I am talking about that my wife has.

Cartilage Piercing

Industrial Piercing

Tragus Piercing

Nose Piercing

Eyebrow Piercing

Twitter and other updates

Yeah, I know, you might be wondering where I have been lately.  Understandable, because I know I am so well loved that many have missed me.  Who could blame you?  I sure don’t.

Regardless, I have been absent for several reasons, some of which are personal.  So let me share them.  No, No, I won’t do that you nosy people.  Some things are better left unsaid.  Let us just say that I have not been feeling well, and have been concentrating on other things.

I just wanted everyone to know I’m alive and well.  At least for the moment.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

So let’s get to a few updates, shall we?

1. Twitter.  I’ve deleted my twitter account.  I mean what was the point?  I don’t really get it.  I can understand twitter if you are very famous and want to give fans a chance to check out what you are up to.  For the average Joe, like me, however it just seems like a giant waste of time.  I have a lot to say, about a lot of things, but no one cares what I’m doing on an hour to hour basis.  I tried to follow some people I have interacted with, and found it.. boring.  I tried following some friends, and they rarely update.  I tried following some famous people and that was ok, but all in all, I found that I rarely logged in and almost never updated.  So, bye-bye twitter.

2. Michael Jackson.  Sorry, but I am so sick of hearing about his death.  Sorry he is dead I guess, but I have opinions on the type of person he was, so I wasn’t all that upset and the fact that the media has been blasting it at me 24/7 since his death is obnoxious.  At best.

3. I’m happy to report that my wife is making websites and as it turns out she is very good at it.  She already has an order to design a site for a local company and having seen what she has done so far?  It ROCKS.  So if you’re looking for a layout, get in touch.  Also, my wife does graphic design and she is very very talented.  Give her a try why don’t you?

4. I got a new car finally.  I hated to do it, but my Ford Taurus has over 200,000 miles on it and since I’m in sales and drive all the time, it was getting time to do the deal.  I’m not all that happy with the deal I got, which I guess is my own fault, but the car is nice.  It’s another Taurus of course.  it’s missing some of the finer things my old one has, but it does have the Microsoft Sync system and I have to tell you that almost makes up for everything else.  That things is awesome.  It links to my phone so I am completely hands free, making me safer (and the Evil Wife Creature Says I need all the help I can get because I can’t drive), and it even plays digital music from a USB drive.  All of course is voice activated after touching a button on the steering wheel, which you don’t have to look for.  If you have been wondering about it, let me tell you, it’s worth the investment.

5. I went and did it after I swore I wouldn’t.  I ordered and iPhone, which I am still waiting on.  My other phone is 2 years old and it has seen it’s better days and I have been having trouble with e-mail on it.  I let a few people I know talk me into getting it.  Once I get it and test drive it for a week or so, I will let you all know what I think.  I am looking forward to being able to store my music on it so that I don’t have to carry any CD’s with me in the car, since it will also sync up to the system in my car.  Cool stuff that.

6. I find myself at a crossroads at the moment.  As you may know, I have credentials with the Church of God.  I’ve had several instances where some things happened that were difficult for me to deal with.  I have a church I am a member of and a Pastor that I love, along with his family, but some of the people there make it hard for me to go.  I hate that.  I really do.  I don’t think they are bad people, not at all.  The circumstances are just very unfortunate.  At the present, I can’t seem to get my wife or my daughter to attend ANY church, and a majority of it has to do with the circumstances that happened.  I’ve been invited to meet a Youth Pastor with a Baptist Church who’s youth group has grown so big so quickly he needs help.  This Pastor knows my wife and has expressed an interest in talking to me about helping.  My wife, however, isn’t interested, and for some reason, that bothers me.  It’s not that I can’t do this without her, it’s just that when I started out on this journey, it was a team thing, and now, it’s not.  It would not mean I would leave my church, as this would only be a one night a week thing, but I’m just not sure what to do.  I’m praying about it, but as yet, nothing has become clear.

7.  I’m also dealing with some family issues.  My aunt has a brain tumor and has been fighting it for several years.  Surgery can not remove it all and each time they operated, she has lost functionality and she doesn’t have much longer.  My Grandmother is also nearing the end of her life.  She suffers from Alzheimer’s, and lately she has gotten much worse.  She keeps losing blood and they can not find the reason for it.  Facing the loss has frankly, gotten me down.

8. My daughter continues to be fantastic.  Although she still hasn’t gotten her driver’s license yet, she should be ready soon.  I hate that she has grown up so fast.  She finished out her sophomore year with honors.  She is in a specialty center for Art through the County and next year some of her classes will give her college credit.  I’m so very proud of her.  She has been invited to attend this special youth thing in Washington, DC this coming fall.  It’s a leadership deal and only a select few get the invite.  It’s going to be expensive and I have no idea where the money will come from, but we are trying to make sure she will be able to go.   As long as Obama doesn’t check out her butt lol.  She also places second place in the county for a nationwide art contest this year.  Over all, I couldn’t be more proud.

I suppose that is enough of an update in the Life of Riley.  Hopefully soon I will have something to actually write and things will get more back to normal.

Until then, God Bless,

~Kev

The end of the stone

Well, for those of you that have been following along, I finally passed my kidney stone.  What a relief!  No more pain, no more drugs and no more pain!  But most importantly, no more pain!  I’m excited, nay, I am THRILLED.  Mere words can not begin to describe my joy and relief.

Thursday, June 11, 2009 is going down on my calendar as a special day.  I’m making it a holiday, just for me.

I have a long list of people to thank for dealing with me over the past week.  Being a man, being sick is a burden that reverts me back to a little boy.  Yeah, I can admit it.  At least this time, I was in enough pain that people overlooked it.

First and foremost, I have to thank the Evil Wife Creature for everything she has done for me.  She was awesome.  Patient, kind, loving, and did her best to take care of me.  At the end of the day, what more can you ask for when you’re suffering so badly?  So thanks baby.  In this case my lovely dragon, RAWR means I love you.

 

The Evil Wife Creature.  Hear her RAWR!

Baby, I will never forget your eagerness to just jump in the car and rush me to the ER with grave concern written all over you beautiful face.  For prosperity purposes, I managed to find a picture from a road camera that documents are trip to the ER.

I tell ya, I’m a lucky man!

Of course, I also have to thank the local hospital vampires, guy and girl, who quickly tortured helped me by taking blood.  Of course, their multiple attempts to stick a vein won’t be mentioned.

They look happy, yes?  I’m sure they were as thrilled as I was by their attentions.

I also must thank my first doctor, who in his concern, completely forgot to give me the proper information before throwing me out the door and sending me home to pace back and forth from the pain I was in.  No doubt, he had far weightier matters on his mind, such as that nights menu.  That’s right, thank you Mr. Swedish Chef Doctor.  I’ll never forget you.

I will admit that I had second thoughts about even mentioning the second ER doc.  Frankly, when I opened my eyes and saw him standing over me, I almost screamed and ran.  But the Evil Wife Creature held me down for my own good and let out a mighty RAWR, breaking numerous glass objects and gave him the Evil Eye.  He behaved.  He to, in his concern, forgot to give me important information, but luckily, the Evil Wife Creature refused to deal with me in my poor state and took matters into her own hands.

And Doc?  I hope you finally got that meal you were going on and on about instead of taking care of me.  Let’s see, your hunger pains over my kidney stone pains.  Wow, they don’t even come close to matching up!

Lastly, I must thank my kidney stone.  Is that weird?  Maybe, but the stone taught me a valuable lesson.  Nothing else can quite turn you into a shaking, sweating, crying, slag of a human quite like a kidney stone.  I felt you trying to rip out of my insides for 6 inhuman days.

Personally, I still think I was invaded by an evil alien creature, like the one pictured above, and the Evil Wife Creature killed it and refuses to tell me about it so I won’t cry, weep, and grind my teeth in despair.

In the end, the stone I was feeling inside me didn’t quite match up to my expectations, which was a stone like this.

Not the small little thing I dropped off for the lab to analyze.  It’s hard to believe that something that is only 3mm can cause so much pain, but let me assure you that it can.  It came, it saw, it kicked my rear end.

But all is well that ends well, at least for now.  I have a second stone sitting in my kidney that is no doubt plotting evil and mayhem.  Oh the joy –headesk-

~ Kev